Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Letter to my Hubby

To my dearest hubby,

You've been home for 7 long weeks. In that time, you have yet to learn the rules of the house. They are fairly simple, easy enough that a 4-year-old can follow them without complaint. But since it seems that you are having some issues abiding by them, I thought I would spell them out.

1. Garbage goes in the trash can. It doesn't go on the coffee table, it doesn't go the counter, and it doesn't go on the trash can lid when the bag is full.

2. Dishes belong in the dishwasher. Going along with #1, don't leave them in random places for me to find by smell 3 days later. Thank you very much for that smoothie cup under the edge of the coffee table that was only discovered by the funk it was omitting.

3. Video games are not meant to be played all day long. I get it, they're fun, they give you something to do. But I've got lots of cleaning you can get done instead.

4. Money does not grow on trees. If you aren't bringing in a normal paycheck, don't think you can splurge at the store. Pretty soon you'll be getting an allowance or a babysitter so that I can shop without you.

5. Don't complain about "what I do all day." When I'm alone, the house is clean, the Gibbon is happy, and everybody's fed. You are throwing off my schedule, so you don't get the right to utter a single complaint.

Signed your loving & irritated wife,
GetOffYourButt & GoBackToWorkNow

10 comments:

tara said...

I hear you! My husband was home for 2 months straight last year, and it drove me nuts, throws everything waaaayyyyy off!

renee said...

How come when they stay home, it looks worse than when we left. When I stay home, I spend 90% of my time cleaning!!

Sarah said...

My husband's a teacher and when he's off for the summer, it throws everything out of whack around here too.

Hope he either gets with the program or gets back to work and out of your hair soon.

awellcraftedlife said...

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blueviolet said...

I always feel guilty about that but I swear I love when he goes back to work after a day off and I dread those week long vacations!! I'm a horrible person.

Bloggymommy said...

Sounds like my hubs! But I would have to add that clothes don't go NEXT to the laundry basket...they go INSIDE the laundry basket! And wet towles belong in the hamper or on the rack...NOT on the floor! Grr...men! lol

Sarah said...

Is it wrong that I don't even try when he's home? Love him dearly but can't get anything done while he's here.

Chrissy said...

How funny - and true! Men really do have an innate ability to throw off the smooth running of a household. I hope he starts following the rules - or at least doesn't leave dirty dishes hidden around the house. I would hate that the most!

Melanie said...

I could have written this except my hubs does work. When he isn't, all of the above is happening!

Laurie said...

I so hear you on this one! Drives me crazy when he is home for just the weekends because everything is out of whack even the boys whine cry more. Wonder why that is. And I so hear you on cleaning, men just don't do it, the entire house seems to be their hanger/trash can/junk room. You love them but you don't love their bad habits.