To my dearest hubby,
You've been home for 7 long weeks. In that time, you have yet to learn the rules of the house. They are fairly simple, easy enough that a 4-year-old can follow them without complaint. But since it seems that you are having some issues abiding by them, I thought I would spell them out.
1. Garbage goes in the trash can. It doesn't go on the coffee table, it doesn't go the counter, and it doesn't go on the trash can lid when the bag is full.
2. Dishes belong in the dishwasher. Going along with #1, don't leave them in random places for me to find by smell 3 days later. Thank you very much for that smoothie cup under the edge of the coffee table that was only discovered by the funk it was omitting.
3. Video games are not meant to be played all day long. I get it, they're fun, they give you something to do. But I've got lots of cleaning you can get done instead.
4. Money does not grow on trees. If you aren't bringing in a normal paycheck, don't think you can splurge at the store. Pretty soon you'll be getting an allowance or a babysitter so that I can shop without you.
5. Don't complain about "what I do all day." When I'm alone, the house is clean, the Gibbon is happy, and everybody's fed. You are throwing off my schedule, so you don't get the right to utter a single complaint.
Signed your loving & irritated wife,
GetOffYourButt & GoBackToWorkNow